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Titus Andronicus (And The Problem With Aiden)

Generally, music does not make me want to go out and do things.  I guess there is a large demographic that becomes motivated by music, but I’m certainly not a part of it.  I hear a lot of people – wait, let’s be honest here; I read a lot of comments from people online – talking about how they’ll listen to music to pump them up before they hit the field to play a football game or something.  When I get done scoffing at the fact that someone on a music forum is pretending to be manly beyond having the ability to grow some kind of creepy neckbeard, I get to thinking.  I mean, if I wanted to pump myself up about getting my frail, super indie body crushed under a pile of sweaty jocks, I’m pretty sure I would just put on some show-tunes and get my ass down to the Drama Department where I so obviously belong in the first place.

home sweet home

But seriously, listening to, say, a Pantera song to pump me up for a certain event would just make me want to…listen to more Pantera.  It reminds me of when I was still in high school.  I never actually was in the Drama Department, by the way.  It was a good thing because I was never labeled as a homo because I liked to wear tights on stage in front of my peers, but it was a bad thing because I was labeled as a homo anyway because of my lack of friends, and I would have probably fit in pretty well with those social degenerates down in the dungeon that was the Drama hallway.  But anyway, I never joined the Drama Department, which is probably why I ended up finding the cellar-dwelling community on this website.

What was I even saying?

Oh yeah.  It reminds me of high school P.E. class.  We had to run the mile every so often, and it was the bane of my existence.  I’m pretty sure 99% of this site doesn’t know anything about me at all, and I’m not sure I want to change that.  So let’s just say that up until halfway through 10th grade, I went to a very strict, very religious private school that made us do things like carry a telephone pole around a baseball field and climb a 12-foot tall, splinter-infested wooden wall in the middle of the woods.  To build character.  Or something.  Point is, I was in fantastic shape when I was 14 years old.  But then I transferred to a public school, was introduced to the typical American teenager, and proceeded to turn into a stupid, lazy piece of shit with a ridiculous sense of entitlement.  Thus, when days rolled around where we had to run the mile, I would automatically lose control of my bodily functions and shit myself.

at this point, all the other kids had been done for about 20 minutes

I have a point here.  My point is that every time we had to run the mile, I would start running to the beat of whatever song was stuck in my head at the time.  I’m sure this happened to you guys sometimes too.  Even if the pace I was running at (power-walking speed) didn’t sync up with the song, I would still hear my footfalls punctuate every single goddamn word.  For the nine minutes or so that it took me to run the mile, I would vow to never hear that song again.  So why would I want to listen to a song before a football game that I know will merely accentuate the sound of my bones being broken and my marrow dripping onto the turf?

Oh, but Titus Andronicus.

The Monitor makes me want to go do things!  Unfortunately, it makes me want to do things while simultaneously reminding me how worthless I am and how many friends I don’t have.  Granted, it also makes me feel like those things are A-Okay, but there’s still a bit of a Catch-22 at work here.  The album screams at me to go do something, but immediately after screams at me that I have nothing to do.  Inevitably, I’m left as a shivering mess on my bedroom floor, quivering with the excitement of doing things but paralyzed by the fear of doing things. Still, the album is amazingly good and if you haven’t heard it yet, you need to.  It makes me sort of wish that I got drunk regularly, but that unfortunately involves doing things, so that’s a no-go.

I was going to work Aiden in here somewhere, but now I forget where I was going with that big huge title way up there.  Fuck that band, basically.

Soliquidis (12:17:03 AM): cant wait til new genres
Soliquidis (12:17:08 AM): my pie chart will be so elite
Soliquidis (12:17:10 AM): indie
Soliquidis (12:17:13 AM): indiecore
Soliquidis (12:17:17 AM): slowcore
Soliquidis (12:17:24 AM): obscure indie
Soliquidis (12:17:32 AM): thrash
Soliquidis (12:17:38 AM): ambient
Soliquidis (12:17:52 AM): idm
Soliquidis (12:18:07 AM): electronica
Soliquidis (12:18:11 AM): electronic
Soliquidis (12:18:17 AM): techno
Soliquidis (12:18:19 AM): dub




mynameischan
04.12.10
on a roll

EasternLight
04.12.10
yay

JWT155
04.12.10
Third post!

qwe3
04.12.10
whos soliquidis

Ire
04.12.10
fif

JWT155
04.12.10
Touche to the fuck Aiden comment.

Emim
04.12.10
Reads like a Cracked.com article. Good job.

theacademy
04.12.10
dude i thought u were european

sniper
04.12.10
This is the best Chan Plan so far I think. And the Plans are already the best part of the blog, so great work.

theacademy
04.12.10
dude i thought u were european

Piglet
04.12.10
Eh.

Nikkolae
04.12.10
" turn into a stupid, lazy piece of shit with a ridiculous sense of entitlement."

that sums up my teenage years quite perfectly

illmitch
04.12.10
i listen to three 6 mafia before class to get me pumped up then i usually beat up the teacher and start a riot in the class room and sell drugs

[img]http://memegenerator.net/stokedmitch/File/16138/stokedmitch.jpg[/img]

Jim
04.12.10
i did drama and that jpeg has the memories flooding back

plane
04.12.10
I just listened to Ghetto Cowboy on repeat to and fro school

TheyTookOurJobs
04.12.10
hahaha these are the best

SmurkinGherkin
04.12.10
best one so far

thetree
04.12.10
Is that really chan running in that picture? because if soo.. youre hawt

Lunarfall
04.12.10
chan youre articles are so cash

Skimaskcheck
04.12.10
hey i liked drama :(

Metalstyles
04.12.10
dunno, every time I listen to something that pumps me up before a game I actually do much better. Played floorball for 5 seasons, and one time I actually DID listen to pantera before the game and really tore shit up. Didn't do so before the next two games and the result was that I played like crap. Now I always listen to music that puts me in the right mood before the game. When I actually play, that is.

Great article

Inveigh
04.12.10
good read man. I listen to music before, during and after everything... so yeah, basketball included. Although I can't say I ever used Pantera to pump me up for a round of hoops...

BigTuna
04.12.10
You run weird. Good read.

SeaAnemone
04.12.10
I listen to music during my summer workouts when I'm running by myself. That's actually where a hefty portion of my new-listening comes in... ugh almost there... hot summer days / long long runs.

mynameischan
04.12.10
soliquidis is god that's who he is

KILL
04.12.10
what is this

rasputin
04.12.10
better than allah you know what im sayin'

Athom
04.12.10
jazz hands

Yazz_Flute
04.12.10
lol neck beards

kirktastic
04.12.10
"Reads like a Cracked.com article. Good job."

123


Zizzer
04.12.10
Neck beards part was my favorite lol

Meatplow
04.12.10
staff blog wouldn't be the same without you channing

Poet
04.12.10
Don't make fun of neckbeards Mr. Freeman =(

mmfarva
04.12.10
Ramblings. I like it.

Fort23
04.12.10
i didn't know we were getting new genres


Jom
04.12.10
I'm digging the moose knuckle in the second picture. Hilarious article once again.

Klekticist
04.13.10
it does indeed read like a cracked.com article.
hilarious as usual.

new genres??

joshuatree
04.13.10
yes love this shit

Tulannical
04.13.10
but running is easssssyyyy

iarescientists
04.13.10
bloggin in the blogosphere

Greggers
04.13.10
Loving this shit

Poet
04.13.10
But there is definitely magic in this shit

ant4tbc
04.14.10
I never joined drama, I'm in a comedy sketch group at school sooooo

comedy>drama>PE

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