I like dogs. I work at an animal hospital, so I’m around them every day. If dogs were music genres this is what they would be. As with previous and all future Chan’s Plans, images are credited to my partner in crime charlesfishowitz, who worked a lot harder on the pictures than I did on the descriptions, and for that I will always be grateful.
Bassett Hound/Shoegaze: Proven to be the most pathetic creatures in existence, Bassett Hounds perpetually look sad and can make you give them whatever they want just by turning those droopy eyes your way. While walking, they always look down at their feet with their nose on the ground, continually sniffing out the most strategic place to piss. Also, they’ve got those big ears to pick up as much reverb and feedback as possible.
Bullmastiff/Doom: Stockier than the horse-like English Mastiff, Bullmastiffs are crushingly powerful, blundering but not stupidly so, and capable of aggression when their master commands. Yesterday, I was dragged down a hill and through some pine trees by a 110-pound specimen named Blue. All I could do was salute him with a \m/.
Boston Terrier/Metalcore: They are intensely cute as puppies, but as they age, numerous health problems arise. As a brachycephalic breed, breathing problems are common and can lead to a general raspy sound emanating from their throats. Over time they become a general annoyance for veterinarians and Botch fans.
Brittany Spaniel/Post Rock: The most beautiful canine breed, Brittany Spaniels are majestic and companionable. However, owners can run into problems if they do not properly train their Spaniel, such as aggression toward other dogs, a general nervous attitude toward people, and predictable song structures.
Bichon Frise/Emo & Skramz: Loud, yappy, and ugly, Bichons want you to know what they’re feeling at all times. Unfortunately, the only thing Bichons feel is a need to inundate your ears with their high-pitched scream of a bark, constantly clawing at your legs and occasionally pissing in the house because you just don’t understand what it’s like to be a teenage Bichon, man.
And an AIM excerpt to keep you guys warm tonight:
|Soliquidis (10:40:29 PM):||touch my cat dick|