Review Summary: You can be my wingman anytime.
When I was six years old, I thought "Top Gun" was the most badass movie of all time. There are two reasons for this. The first is I had not yet discovered "Rocky IV." The second is I no idea what a homo-erotic overtone was, and if you happen to ignore them, Top Gun is the quintessential 80’s movie done right, chalk full of cheesy one liners, impossible romances (and in this case, bromances), enthralling (for the time) action sequences, and a well-executed avalanche of unintentional comedy. Sure there are reaches of epic proportions. It’s laughable that the casting director had the unmitigated gall to try to pass off Gilbert from “Revenge of the Nerds” as one of the ten best fighter pilots in the world, and that’s probably why he ended up getting killed off, which simultaneously launched about twenty minutes of Owen Wilson-at-the-end-of “Wedding Crashers” level gayness. It’s not easy to picture 5 foot 6 Tommy Cruise qualifying as a badass rebel, or better put “Maverick” who can singlehandedly take down six Russian fighter jets while somehow managing to nail his female Superior who is at least four inches taller than him, never mind the fact that he executed an utterly impossible 4G inverted dive against a MIG 28. It is however entirely realistic to imagine Cruise and Val Kilmer passive/aggressively snapping sweaty towels against each other in a steamy locker room, but that’s neither here nor there.
It’s well established that "Top Gun" is a legend of cinema, its merits of realism aside. It’s also a fact that the soundtrack was one of the more popular albums of the 80’s, largely due to three factors. The first is "Top Gun" has two Kenny Loggins songs, and it’s inarguable that Kenny Loggins entirely owned 80’s movie soundtracks, even if you think his cheesy power ballad from the Sly Stallone vehicle “Over the Top” totally sucks ass. The second is Harold Faltermeyer is featured, and if you don’t know Harry, you obviously haven’t seen a little movie called “Beverly Hills Cop.” Third is it contained a watershed power ballad (Take My Breath Away), an absolute formulaic requirement if a movie was going to sell a sh*t-ton of records in the decade of excess.
The original "Top Gun" soundtrack release was a hodge-podge of righteous wins and epic fails. “Danger Zone” is unequivocally one of the greatest rock-out driving songs ever, and the other Loggins tune “Playing With The Boys” is almost as awesome as long as you ignore the scene where IceMan, Goose, Mav, and the dude who played Slider are totally gaying out on the volleyball court. “Take My Breath Away” features when Maverick nails Kelly McGillis for the first time, and as far as overtly cheesy 80’s pop power ballads go, it’s easily one of the best. Loverboy’s “Heaven In Your Eyes” might be as unmanly as a Crusie/Kilmer sweat lodge scene, but it also has a massive chorus that is guaranteed to bang out cigarette lighters if you have a semblance of a soul. Cheap Trick’s “Mighty Wings” and Larry Greene’s “Through The Fire” are both enormously overdone 80’s montage-themed songs, but they work in alignment with the film and the parlance of the time. And let’s not forget about Haltermeyer’s “Top Gun Theme” itself, a masterwork of guitar that if you know how to play will get you a ton of bro-fists at any frat party. Sure, the Miami Sound Machine and Teena Marie tracks establish a new watermark for unmatched failure, but in comparison to the rest of the awesomeness of the album, who really cares?
Top Gun’s penultimate echelon is achieved in Special Edition release, when the Record Company execs pulled their heads out of their asses and thought “holy sh*t, we included three of the greatest songs in the history of music in the movie but didn’t put them on the original soundtrack?” Never mind that the scene when Goose bangs out “Great Balls of Fire” while Meg Ryan develops a drippy thong and the one where the Navy dudes serenade Kelly McGillis with the Righteous Brothers’ “You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feelin” are two of the movie’s most famous moments, the songs themselves are timeless. Almost as timeless as Otis Redding’s “Sittin on the Dock of the Bay,” the greatest soul song ever written and an utterly criminal omission from the original. Simply put, the original "Top Gun" soundtrack ruled in its own right, but had the Special Edition been released 13 years earlier we are talking about all-time status. The rock moments are there. The tender moments are memorable. Your real life relation is entirely achievable. If the thought of flying a cargo plane full of rubber dog sh*t down to Hong Kong or being Val Kilmer’s “Wingman” scare the crap out of you, just throw on “Danger Zone.” If you are trying really hard to score, Berlin and Otis will practically take her home for you. Even if you secretly like to play Beach volleyball and perv out with other guys, Kenny Loggins has the formula for you. In summary, Top Gun can be for everyone, and that is why it remains one of our greatest pieces of pop culture to this day.
