Jordaan Mason and The Horse Museum
Divorce Lawyers I Shaved My Head


4.5
superb

Review

by DiceMan USER (8 Reviews)
January 8th, 2010 | 88 replies


Release Date: 2009 | Tracklist

Review Summary: She pulls down her pants, a little, and says "Do you see where I used to be a boy?"

Jordaan Mason and The Horse Museum consists of Jordaan Mason on lead vocals and guitar, and a band called The Horse Museum on just about anything else you could think of. Both of them hail from Toronto Canada. Divorce Lawyers I Shaved My Head is a lo-fi folk album of epic proportions, covering the relationship of a married couple as they endure their woes of gender confusion (the wife has a dick and the husband talks about giving birth) amongst other things. The album art is a testament to just how fucked up the lyrics are in the album, yet they are able to keep a large amount of disturbing sentimental value which really makes listening to the album an experience you’ve probably never had before.

The lyrics are debatably one of my favorite parts of the album. Mason uses gorgeous metaphors for the problems in their dysfunctional relationship, such as the section from Prayer which says “Sold my skin for all their cancer/ what do you want from me? I will not clinic you easy/ I am holding conversations: limp gazelles in my arms/ and we are absolutely calm.” The use of vivid imagery also helps to make the lyrics more of a story than anything else. While it would be easy to write off the husband as hating his wife for all of the problems they have as a couple, there are also hints towards his love for her such as in Carpenter when he tells his wife “let’s sleep again/ sin our way through secrets and cause all the violence/ and let’s leave our bodies/ pull our skin from these bones, and this house from these homes.” As a result of all these things, we get a very insightful look into the character’s feelings and emotions which makes the album all the more curious.

Jordaan Mason has quite a unique voice. It sounds quite a bit like Jeff Magnum’s voice, only it maintains a certain amount of edginess that manages to add an extra bite to the emotional investment factor of his vocals. He wails and croons his way through 13 tracks of incredibly convincing confusion, with After The Glandonian War being an instrumental. Joining him on the vocals are female members of The Horse Museum who are supposed to be taking the place of the wife as far as the lyrics go. They really add another dimension to the music and make some songs that could have possibly slid by stand out a hell of a lot more. The recording quality contributes very well to the vocals, giving everything a very raw quality which manages to come across very well.

The instrumentals are also very solid, much like the rest of the album. There is a lot of guitar and piano accompaniment which, like the vocals, work well with the recording style that they used. Joining in are a banjo, a trombone, a horn in F, a flute, a trumpet, a glock, a harp, a cello, a bass, and also a drum kit player from what I could tell. Although the vocals are allowed to “drive the bus” as one would say, the instrumentalists don’t exactly take a backseat. They play in a very additive way and some switch to vocals every once in a while, which really helps give the album a lot of differentiation between the tracks. Also, many of the songs really get a driving force from possibly a trombone part plodding away. One of my personal favorite tracks would be After The Glandonian War which has an absolutely heartbreaking flute line when it is grouped in with all of the other instruments (I have no idea what some of these instruments are).

All of these elements band together to create one of the most peculiar folk albums I’ve ever had the chance to listen to. The depth of the songwriting and the obvious talent that all of the instrumentalists/vocalists have is infatuating, and the catchiness of some of the songs makes it have a very fun aura which is quite a juxtaposition with the content of the songs. The band is smart enough to not step on any toes with their debut full length album but are still able to make an accessible masterpiece, which makes this one of my new favorite albums. If I had discovered this last year, it would have easily been able to bully its way up to the top of my best of 2009 list.



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user ratings (104)
4.1
excellent


Comments:Add a Comment 
DiceMan
January 8th 2010


7066 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

Is amazing I promise...



Second review... Tell me what sucks about it.



Also, I reccomend ALL tracks.

Minus The Flair
Emeritus
January 8th 2010


870 Comments


d/l'd this after that rec on your list, have yet to listen to it properly but i checked out a few of the songs and they seemed ok. probably need to spend quite a bit of time with it before i'd see a 4.5. not sure about the mangum comparison, but i guess i can see where you're coming from.

DiceMan
January 8th 2010


7066 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

I personally find his voice to be kind of a mix between the Arcade Fire guy and Jeff Magnum's.. It kinda has that AC edgy/whine feel to it, while still sounding a lot like Jeff Magnum to me. Maybe I'm just crazy.



I've listened to this a lot lately.. It's been quite ridiculous. I've grown to love it though.

cirq
January 9th 2010


9362 Comments


I'm thinkin about gettin this based on the album cover

DiceMan
January 9th 2010


7066 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

You should ABSOLUTELY get this based off of the album cover, and then you can keep it based on it's musical content.

cirq
January 9th 2010


9362 Comments


We shall see

DiceMan
January 9th 2010


7066 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

It is very gender confused. Dude talks about giving birth, never really definitively says he has a vag. Chick has a penis, the dude has sucked it. No joke.

cirq
January 9th 2010


9362 Comments


What the fuckin fuck? Ok, I'm gonna download it

DiceMan
January 9th 2010


7066 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

"divorce lawyers i shaved my head, she shaved her head: we are new

standing near the window, she pulls her pants down, a little, and says:

'do you see where i used to be a boy?'

i say, 'i've had it in my mouth: i swallowed the evidence down

and the children we wanted around have stayed in my stomach to drown.'

she panics and says, 'this is all i have in my hands.

i want to forget who i am. i want to fuck and forget who i am.'

and so we swallow faucets and spit hot water between our lips, like:

what would we say instead?

and we gather our hair like bark from backyards where

we force the fire to spread with sawdust carved from our heads

where did you put my autobiography?

where did you put all the wood for the winter?

where did you thrust all the oil we kept up?

and how do we get warm how do we stay warm?"



Last half of the last song on the album I shit you not.





DiceMan
January 9th 2010


7066 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

Sorry bro but I can't give good digi-hugs. Ask Waior he's pretty nice.

cirq
January 9th 2010


9362 Comments


on the real, that shit is twisted.. its downloading now

DiceMan
January 9th 2010


7066 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

Bitchin. Let me know what you think. I'm listening to this album again... For about the 20th time this week. I find it to be incredibly interesting.

cirq
January 9th 2010


9362 Comments


yezzir... and if i like it enough, i'll post it on AWG

DiceMan
January 9th 2010


7066 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

What's AWG?



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mloBFYwrJsk



Them performing my favorite song live at their cd release show... It's pretty perfect.

cirq
January 9th 2010


9362 Comments


apeswithguns.blogspot.com haha


yeah i just watched them doing "prayer"

i think i like

DiceMan
January 9th 2010


7066 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

Ahh ok. Never heard of that but I'll check it out.



It's totally fucked up... But in a horribly gorgeous way.

cirq
January 9th 2010


9362 Comments


there, check it out..

DiceMan
January 9th 2010


7066 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

Neat I will have to check out a few of those they look swell

cirq
January 9th 2010


9362 Comments


its a great little blog that slightlyepic started.

DiceMan
January 9th 2010


7066 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

Ahh. I thought I had realized a couple names were from the Sput but I am just so tired it didn't register with me. Anyways I'm goin to bed. Toodles.



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