Review Summary: Alt rock, pseudo-punk and Metallica influences combine to make a gigantic failure. The jazz/lounge remakes of older songs only add to the irritation a listener is exposed to when perusing this record.
Mower – Make It A Double
Kindergarten riffs. Semi-aggro vocals contrasted with high-pitched wailing. Lyrics that “focus on social commentary”, but have all the eloquence of a toddler, present in spades. There are occasional solos here, but they are not evocative of anything. Oh, there is good bass playing too. If you’re into this stuff, you’re probably into Mower, because that is what these guys play to a T.
This works for a few moments on the album, but mostly the generic chug riffs (intro of Wolves is a good example) sound like every other riff every common new metal band has written. The more yelled Metallica-esque vocals are all right (occasionally he is reminiscent of the Symphony X singer on the last album), but when that other singer opens his wailing mouth, it ruins it. Damn, these guys opened for Metallica and Slayer at one point (and toured with (hed)p.e.) but they just don’t have the grace to be a thrash band. It sounds like Anthrax’s (Rob Caggiano does a guest solo on the record, but can’t save it) terrible cousin with shorter songs. The punk/hardcore aesthetic that the band tries to embrace, much like (hed)p.e., seems to work against them as it makes the band look entirely silly instead of eloquent. Sometimes, the band veers into Stone Sour territory on the heavier songs (hey, what fun, Mayorga does drums on a part of the slower section), but even the silly alt-rock leanings can’t save the record.
It doesn’t help that the album is basically split into two parts: eight new original songs, and 6 re-done jazz/lounge versions (basically just slowed down, slightly more groovy versions as this has nothing to do with jazz at all) of old songs. The most that can be said for the latter is that they seem more listenable than the first eight. Yeah, it is still boring, in a sleepy, drowsy sort of way, but it doesn’t irritate to outright anger like the rest of the album does. The unfortunate mash-up of disparate styles is jarring, and although the separation of the lounge songs ensures there are no odd breaks, it still doesn’t work for them like it should. There is no redeeming factor to these songs and the promo pics of them trying to look all suave in suits just makes you shake your head at the complete gimmick that this is apparently supposed to be.
To top it off: no, the chicks on the cover of the album aren’t hot, they’re dolls, and you’re better off searching for an actual chick instead of a blow up doll to put your manly bits in. Goddamn, those guys look retarded on the cover.
2 VIP lounges in which I won’t allow these guys out of 10.
