Review Summary: White hot demon porn!
A critical review of "Aeons of Satan's Reign" by Satan's Wrath, as dictated to me by the Reigning Satan on this 25th day of November in this year of our Dark Lord, 2013.
At the risk of alienating a large number of Sputnik users, I would like to get something off my chest. I, Satan, don't really much care for modern day death metal. I liken it to necrophiliac porn. The vocalists generally sound like they're trying to fellate a week-old corpse while simultaneously gargling with said corpse's bodily fluids and mumbling as loudly as possible. The rest of the band, as jaw-droppingly proficient with their "instruments" as they may be, I liken to the "appendages" of the living porn actor working their magic on a dead body. In other words, there is no magic if there's only one (living) person getting off on the performance. I mean, they don't call it "wankery" for nothing.
Black metal, on the other hand, is more akin to torture porn. I'm okay with that. At least it gets both parties' blood flowing (and mine). If it's "good" black metal, it's all about the hate and anger. It's more natural, with performances, performers and (preferably low) production values that make the average misanthrope sit up and say, "Hey, by Satan, this is something I can get off to".
Then we have Satan's Wrath. Satan's Wrath isn't really black metal or death metal, although they take influences from both, as well as thrash and NWOBHM. Now even though Satan's Wrath travel in the same cloven footsteps of bands such as Venom, Nifelheim and Midnight, they do so with enough style and panache that I've decided to liken them to a new genre of adult film, demon porn.
Now demon porn is not about pain and hatred or showing off one's proficiency. No, demon porn is all about passion so hot that it literally incinerates damned souls. Demon porn is about the participants having more fun than humanly possible at the expense of anyone standing around them. Demon porn says to the viewer, "Watch how it's done, scum", and burn's the viewers' eyes out with its intensity and passion for what its doing.
Demon porn is the equivalent of what Satan's Wrath do on their sophomore album, "Aeons of Satan's Reign". It's better produced than their first album, but not overly so. It's still raw, but now you can understand lead singer Tas when he's praising Satan with his orgasmic vocal performance. Now, with two guitarists instead of one, you get multiple extended "money shot" guitar solos. The album even starts out with choral chanting, so you know this is going to be a religious experience for all involved. Yes, nothing Satan's Wrath does on "Aeons of Satan's Reign" is entirely new (neither is porn), but the way they work their magic and the passion they bring to their performance makes this the kind of album that I really can only compare to a fallen angel orgy on film.
Satan's recommended tracks (scenes): "Die White Witch Die", "Satan's Blood, Lucifer's Fire", "Lives of the Necromancers", "Aeons of Satan's Reign"
