Album Rating: 4.0

cannot wait for this. The tracks they released are superb. Great review Jaq

Album Rating: 4.0

The hype is too real rn

Album Rating: 5.0

gonna be a great year for metal

Album Rating: 4.0 | Sound Off

gripping review jac

im looking forward to my vinyl

also that birb is illegally cute

Album Rating: 4.5 | Sound Off

Ur illegally cute Flugmorph

"Here we have a rare example of a metal band whose work seems wholly disconnected from the very people who brought it into being. Told from the point-of-view of a machine that blurs the line between the sentient and the inanimate, Infrared Horizon is an enigma wrapped within a puzzle – one that seems to reset just as you think you’re on the verge of cracking it."

So I gather this wanks EXTREMELY hard

Dweedles hard yeah

Album Rating: 4.5 | Sound Off

Listen to a song they had already spoiled and I'm so fucking hypppeee. It's as crushing and suffocating as ever.

Album Rating: 5.0

oh shit it's out there boys



many m/'s to be had tonight

Album Rating: 4.0 | Sound Off

damn nice lingo usage

Album Rating: 4.0 | Sound Off

edgy

Album Rating: 4.0 | Sound Off

Simple english version:



When I tried to type something up about this album (which has too many syllables in its title, by the way) I found it hard. It’s not a normal album. Normal albums have normal chords and normal scales and normal vocals. This has some of those but it also has things about it that are not normal. Things that aren’t normal are harder to talk about, which is why I said that at the start. This album is kind of like a puzzle, and puzzles suck because they make my head hurt, but this puzzle is different, in a good way.



This album is about aliens and robots, and I’m not going to pretend I know how they think, because I’m a person, and people are not aliens or robots. At least I don’t think they are. Look at the cover. It has a robot on it and the robot looks pretty sad. But can robots even feel sad? Who knows? There are lots of technical death metal albums (or should I say, “death metal albums with songs that are hard to play”) about robots and aliens, but this one is better than most of them. This album has lots of notes, and they’re played in funny orders. This makes it sound like it was made by aliens, or maybe alien robots. The first song (which also has a dumb, big word at the end of its title), takes a long time to sound like a song, but when it does, relief washes over me in an awesome way. The songs make less and less sense as you go along, too.

Album Rating: 4.0 | Sound Off

continued:



The third song with a big word in it is the first of a few songs with a lot of melodies, but the melodies are weird; they’re not nice melodies. Just so you know, I tried to get rid of that funny little mark but my stupid PC said kept putting this green line under it and it pissed me off so I let it win. Anyway, this album’s pretty spooky. The way it sounds is good, too. It was produced by some guy with a funny haircut who plays a bass guitar with way too many strings on it; he probably thinks he’s better than you because of it. There’s that mark again, by the way. That doesn’t matter, though. I can hear everything these guys are doing, and I like it when I can do that. Sometimes I can’t hear everything because everything is too loud, but this album isn’t like that and, like I said, that’s a good thing.



Sometimes I get the feeling something nice will happen, but I only get that feeling a little bit, even when I’m hearing the more normal bits. It doesn’t matter though because who wants to listen to a metal album that’s “nice”? There’s a whole bunch of notes in this stupidly named song that I can still hear after they’ve stopped being played, but that’s probably because they’re played a lot. It’s a good thing, though. It’s really spooky and sometimes it’s kind of fun to be spooked. These spooky songs that the band I am writing about wrote were written a lot, so you pretty much hear nothing but spooky songs until the second last song. The second last song has a lot of notes that are played fast and it rules. I can imagine the band snorting lines of coke before writing it.



All that coke snorting was a bad thing, though. The last song is pretty much the end of the world; I had to read the lyrics .pdf because I couldn’t hear them but they’re pretty brutal. Now Wall-E on the cover is all alone and thinking about that made me sad. But I’ll never understand his pain (if he even has any) because he’s a robot and I’m not. In short, this album’s really cool and y’all should hear it.

Album Rating: 4.0 | Sound Off

hahahahahahahaha

Album Rating: 4.0

Your 2nd review Jac has me even more pumped. I love normal stuff.

Re-checked the singles, they were better than I remembered.

that simple English version was actually a good read lol. a middle ground between that and your usual style would actually be cool to see. not saying you have to wholly convert but yeah idk

I feel like people that complain about Jac's reviews just got bad reading grades in school

or some of the techniques occasionally make the writing feel stilted. i enjoy using 'big words' if they benefit the description and illustrate things that otherwise wouldn't be possible without additional sentences, but sometimes brevity is best.

Album Rating: 4.0 | Sound Off

@sach - My diction was never a problem til you decided to hate me and all metalheads some time last year. Furthermore (I'm allowed to use that word right?) you've already proven your inability to be impartial so w/e. And for someone who apparently doesn't read my reviews you sure have a lot to say about them.



But eh, you'd prefer descriptions a la "lots of notes played in funny orders?" Sweet. I'll be here to pull you up next time you use a word with more than 3 syllables.