Sweet review, Jacob. POS'd.
jacob: i meant no offence, just making an observation. it just sounds kind of cheesy and awkwardly
phrased. maybe even something like 'a patchwork that shows a lot of promise'. idk, maybe it's just my
gripe with the word 'patchwork'. it just sounds kind of douchey. also, i'm pretty sure it's not the
word you're looking for anyway. i mean, i've heard this album and it sounds pretty uniform to me; not
at all comprised of incongruous parts.
edit: i haven't read the review yet, but i will shortly.
summary fits in well with the writing of the review, idk
Digging: Shabazz Palaces - Lese Majesty
Album Rating: 4.5
I definitely understand the long sentence tendency... I do that a lot and have always done that a lot. It takes a lot of practice to get a good balance going, and even now I still fuck up a lot. Dashes are equally tricky, but with experience comes fluency.
Digging: Rx Bandits - Gemini, Her Majesty
Album Rating: 4.5
But writing bullshit aside, I love this album.
semicolons are your friend.
sanguine bassline moving on alongside cloudy synth landscapes.
what's a synth landscape?
"Despite the best of the average artist’s intentions, he often struggles to create harmony within his material. Forced themes can overshadow the true lasting capability of an otherwise excellent aesthetic object, just like art that tries too hard can be too hard to swallow."
just like writing that tries too hard can be too hard to swallow
I think if we pick apart any review we'll find all kind of errors lying around. Lord knows I'm no expert. There's some weird wording here, yes, but for the most part it's a solid review. We get a good description of who the artist is, what this album sounds like, and how it holds up within its genre.
I enjoyed it at least.
God damnit, guys. I spend a ton of time writing about music, and I'm always trying to improve. It's something I'm incredibly passionate about, and I value what I do. Of course I'm willing to listen to constructive criticism, but if you're just going to act like dicks about it then I get frustrated. Thanks, Paperback - you're the greatest guy I've met on this site.
Matt - I know what a patchwork is. I interpret the album as a lot of different indie styles presented as one cohesive whole, so yes, the summary works. And are you saying my summary sounds douchey?... Also, a synth landscape - where a song has a solid synth foundation that feels almost tangible. Perhaps I could change it to soundscape, but I don't see it as a biggie.
Lucidity, once again, reinforces others' opinions! Go consistency!
Digging: Deniro Farrar - Rebirth
AtomicWaste provides excellent feedback. Follow his example.
"Also, a synth landscape - where a song has a solid synth foundation that feels almost tangible."
What are you even saying? This is my issue with your writing, semantically null sentences such as these. Your reviews would read a lot better if they were just more straightforward. Drop the attempts at highbrow description (these just come across as nonsensical) and just aim for clear writing. You've probably already worked yourself into a position where your writing is characterized by this, but pause while writing to see if your descriptions actually make sense. I know I'm a dick at times, so just take this as a frustrated reader voicing his complaints.
Do you spend your nights worrying about my review quality? I'm working on it, and I'd say I've improved a lot in the last year. I appreciate the helpful feedback you provided, but don't see this as as much of a life-or-death situation as you do.
as i've said, it's not meant to be offensive, it's just meant to help you improve. this whole site is based around critiquing reviews, hence the pos/neg function. i know what ali's saying might sound harsh, but i get why he's saying it and i'd take it as the obvious encouragement to improve that it is.
and I'd say I've improved a lot in the last year
i mean, it's not like we should ever get to a point where we think, 'yeah, this is good right here, no need to further improve.'
Did I say that I didn't want to improve any more? You've rehashed this idea that I don't want improvement at all over and over again, and it simply isn't true. Look at my interaction with Atomic; I was very appreciative. I just don't care for the two of you being rude with your criticisms, as I could easily hear the same thing from somebody that isn't just quoting illogical lines from my review.
Eck. Listened to the rest of the album and it never elevated above the first track. Dreamers is
excellent. After that, it's a tight, atmospherically-neat album, but I really prefer the energy and
male vocals of that first track.
Sensing some Phoenix and Shins throughout. Neat stuff but just average.
The first track is one of the highlights for me, that's for sure. I'm sorry you didn't enjoy the rest that much - although I dig it all, I certainly know where you're coming from.
Did you at least enjoy "Empire of Light"?
Album Rating: 4.5
Yeah, "Dreamers" is the best, but it maintains a steady high even after coming down from that point, at least in my eyes.
Definitely. I'm glad you enjoy the album so much, man! It's such an easy listen. =]
Also, Water's Edge is incredible. How did you discover them?
dreamers is definitely the best. overall not a huge fan of this, but it's relaxing and kind of fun.