Album Rating: 3.5
"There's some really amazing writing here. Granted, as a review it doesn't do much musical analysis so much as it is a passive, backwards glance at what Lulu was, but the clarity of the hindsight makes for a pretty compelling piece. I'm not entirely sure how you feel about Lulu MisterTornado, but I am quite glad to see that someone actually devoted some thought into reviewing this album - beyond "OMG REPETITIVE CHORDS AND LOU REED'S OLD MAN VOCALS AND DAMMIT IT'S METALLICA; MUST HATE OMG NEG NEG NEG"."
I appreciate the honesty Irving, you hit the nail on the head. I went into this review looking to argue against a critical consensus I didn't agree with, and based on the fact that 9 reviews already exist here on Sputnik on the same material, I decided the musical analysis should take a backseat. It would have worked better as some kind of article, but I felt like it was necessary nonetheless.
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Album Rating: 1.0
This is just terrible & a disgrace. Metallica has disappointed me with their last few albums. To be honest, they haven't had a good album since "The Black Album". Makes me a bit upset since I grew up to these guys.
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Album Rating: 1.0
Yeah this album licks balls. I can't find a single thing about it that I like.
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Album Rating: 4.0 | Sound Off
On another note. there's a typo towards the end of the review: forgettablely
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Album Rating: 1.0
junior daddddddddddd!!!!!!!!!!!
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Album Rating: 1.5
All of the narrative flaws in The Room make it quite enjoyable. Same can't be said about this pile of shit though.
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Album Rating: 4.0
This album is really misunderstood
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That 3,5 rating gave to my little cousin superaids and a stroke. Album is an abortion and not even fan
of tables will enjoy this
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Album Rating: 4.0
how dare you
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I AM THE TABLET!!!
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Album Rating: 3.0
great review
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^nice rating
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Album Rating: 3.0
i'm serious with this. i really enjoy this album. love reeds voice and the riffs are badass
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its a 3 for me, im also serious about this
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Album Rating: 4.0
would you top me off
would you top me off as I deepen a curtsy
while you yell out, “MERCY”
w e g r o w a p a r t
would you r i p and
cut
m e?
use a knife on me
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Best line to start an album, though. "I would cut my legs and tits off", c'mon Lou. That song isn't so bad though, and Iced Honey is alright as well, I guess. Rest of the album is overlong and derivative, Lou and Metallica aren't a nice fit.
I'm gonna get some sleep guys but remember,
I am the table.
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Album Rating: 4.0
damn bro, that was... .. epic! *lifts eyebrows up and down quickly*
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Nah I kid, while I was never Lou's biggest fan he has a handful of great albums and has had a huge, underappreciated influence on modern music. Lulu was a failed experiment in my eye, but it's cool to see someome who appreciates it.
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"That song isn't so bad though, and Iced Honey is alright as well, I guess. Rest of the album is overlong and derivative"
"Iced Honey" and the opener are *by far* the most derivative and cliched songs on the album. Lou has done MANY songs in this vein.
Btw, the context makes it obvious the table means tablet/list, "these 10 stories" = 10 commandments. You may be kidding but they should really put this information in the booklet anyway for the stupid Metallica kids to understand.
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As far as Brandenburg Gate and Iced Honey go, guess we'll just agree to disagree. But yeah, all in all I'm kidding, will not lie that line sounds cringy though.
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