Converge Jane Doe
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Zipzop5565
March 31st 2010


402 Comments


I dont think this album is very good.

Brokenjewel
March 31st 2010


1247 Comments


Love Converge. Love the review. Pos'd

Satellite
March 31st 2010


20826 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0

I pos'd this only because it's (I assume deliberately) pretty funny.

intothepit83
March 31st 2010


2316 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

besides the usage of "big" words, this review tells me nothing about the album. all it does it form false accusations that the music/lyrics haven't any substance whatsoever. get over urself dude. neg'd and happy to flaunt it

Brokenjewel
March 31st 2010


1247 Comments


It comes across as a joke, but the argument actually has some substance behind it, albeit one that I totally disagree with. It isn't just a splurge of dictionaryitus as people are making out.

Brokenjewel
March 31st 2010


1247 Comments


It sounds like an argument I'd come across in Critical Theory at uni. It seems well thought out, man - much more interesting than the usual waffle attached to it. I'll respond in greater detail when I have the time later, think I can put up a decent counter argument.

Inveigh
March 31st 2010


25025 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0

This review is still 95% form and 5% content. Congratulations, your review is the epitome of your opinion of this record.

IsItLuck?
Emeritus
March 31st 2010


4927 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0

"Individual notes are either lost in the drone of an open D or are absurdly accentuated."

Open C.
You wrote this review as if you're narrating a vague story on the History Channel.

Brokenjewel
March 31st 2010


1247 Comments


Yeah, I got that impression; very cool.


I'll try not to come back with "this will rip your face off dude its so brutal yeah and heavy n stuff"


Also, I don't get it when people say that the music alone is worth a 3 or whatever. If Bannon had yodelled on every song I'd give it a 1, instead of 5. An album is the sum of its parts not something that can be so neatly segmented.

Edited 31/03/10

Knott-
Emeritus
March 31st 2010


10198 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

holy fuck just fuck off you are actually the most depressing reflection of the internet imaginable

your persistent attempts to validate yourself through this website prove that your real-life self is miserable. i actually think it would be funny if everyone suddenly pretended to find you endearing and interesting because then you'd realise you have no actual friends and nothing that makes your existence worthwhile

fuck off and check out what humanity has to offer, stop reading books to fill the gaps in your personality with conversation-stopping, empty, unimportant intellectual nonsense, and get fucking laid

going to watch arsenal get beaten in the 2nd half. wont reply anyway, just read that^ and fuck off

HugCrewLoveRoll
March 31st 2010


612 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

"with Jane Doe, i think my explanation absolutely describes what lies behind the record. people may disagree or say it's poorly-written or "prolix," but very few actually seem to know what they're talking about, since they can't articulate what it is they disagree with or how certain words are inappropriate."

I disagree because you're argumentation is only based on lyrics.
There's like two sentences about the actual music.

intothepit83
March 31st 2010


2316 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

brokenjewel- he's right though. think about it. it's okay to be intellectual, but to purposefully try and talk down to everyone about the music they love through words and theories is ridiculous. from my view, it seems like he is making fun of all of the Converge fans rather than giving a heartfelt review. it's obnoxious and ridiculous. and the fact that Knott is going to an Arsenal game is completely irrelevant to what he said.

NeutralThunder12
March 31st 2010


8742 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0 | Sound Off

This record is between a 3.5-4. It's definitely overrated, but it's still an excellent metalcore record. While well written in one sense, you drowned this review in sophisticated vocabulary instead of making enough valid arguments. Well written is one thing, but you didn't express your point well enough.

PirateSquid
March 31st 2010


1881 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

I loooooove how people would give much less of a crap if they agreed with the rating, like if it was a 5.

And psuedo-intellectualism =/= Making a bad review, it's simply a horrible, moronic justification for disliking the review because it disagwees wiff youuuu poor babyyyy :'(

Knott-
Emeritus
March 31st 2010


10198 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

lol brokenjewel dont be silly mate

i enjoy watching football. but i enjoy it because it makes me happy. nonsynchronicity enjoys
trolling the fuck out of this website and convincing himself he's more intelligent than other people
because he has no other redeeming features that the rest of the world would care about and would be
otherwise forced to admit that.

also im not going to the arsenal game im watching it on tv but since they conceded 25 seconds
into the 2nd half im less arsed now than i was 10 minutes ago

also i have no opinion on this record js

NeutralThunder12
March 31st 2010


8742 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0 | Sound Off

yeah I'm reading it again, you literally soaked this review in erudite language, and that makes you look like a moron because it's trying to look like you are trying to show us how smart you are, which you are not.

"Herein lies the key to the personalism underpinning every moment of Converge’s Jane Doe. By signifying nothing, its authors seem to signify everything"- this makes no sense and isn't true at all.

"And this is why the album must be rated a 1. Converge cannot even be credited with its creation. Jane Doe is, essentially, an album that was written by no one."- this also makes no sense, again you trying to sound smart. Make arguments that make sense before you serve sputnik a plate of word sex, because we've seen it before. I'll say one more time, obviously well written, but your arguments made no sense, the last sentence does not convey anything, you failed 100% to argue why the album musically is a 1.

intothepit83
March 31st 2010


2316 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

its not so much that he talks that way, it's the fact that it's unnecessary. i could care less personally if he gave the album a 1 or a 5, either way the review is shit. he examines very little about the music, and instead comes up with bullshit conspiracy theories about the lyrics and who(or who didnt) write them. it's a convoluted review that really, quite honestly, doesn't make one damn bit of sense

jesusjuice1179
March 31st 2010


1784 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

am I the only one who has trouble even understanding the lyrics?

jesusjuice1179
March 31st 2010


1784 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

by that I mean i don't know what the fuck he's saying 99% of the time?

Insurrection
Contributing Reviewer
March 31st 2010


21469 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0

No you're far from the only one.

Digging: Aspherium - The Fall of Therenia



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