Review Summary: Every Album Deserves A Review
There is something quite disheartening about an unreviewed album. Even if it’s a splice between country rock and Crunkcore with influences from mainstream dubstep, that album deserves a review goddamn it! So I found this little baby here know as Militia of The Lost. I doubt you’ve ever heard of the Fearless Vampire Killers, but I will give a very little introduction. A sound reminiscent of early My Chemical Romance and/Panic! At The Disco said by some, this band will have little relevance to you as much after as before this review. Now that the pointless introductions are over ( I said “Very little”)
Time to throw my first few punches. If you could dig into any old used CD shop and find a more cliché looking heavy metal record cover art, id give you a cookie. What an unimaginative cover art. This being held in hand that this is a concept record based off of vampires. I shall allow this to excite your eager little minds. Now I’m not here to get critical based off of aesthetics mind you, but I am so tired of seeing people run around in costumes playing music about molded over fairytales. Anyhow back to the album. This is virtually pop metal, attempting the ferocity of metal but with an accessible pop appeal.
The first two tracks are typical poppy metal with gothic make up. It is not until “Conced.Repent.Destroy” that things start to pick up. FVK’s drummer is not afraid to get up and have a good time. He brings some enthusiasm to his playing which carries many of the tracks. Unfortunately the guitarist in this band is far too concerned with straying away from basic chord structures, or raising any riffs to half interesting or even solo level. A few good ideas are started but never finished. Take “Bleed Till Sunrise” as a lovely example. A head first breakdown is followed by a somewhat urgent riff. But like most songs on this record, it eventually melts into a sludgy pile of bland ,radio friendly, punk. “Concede” is probably my favorite track on this record. The first half blends catchy, with tastefully faux dark rock (Until we get more sludge).
The concept is about as important as the twist tie on a bag of wonder bread( useful, but disposable), as you’ll notice its often forgotten about. Most notably the track “Bow Ties on Dead Guys” which is your typical “stand up and scream” rocker (a decently catchy tune I guess) where there is no connection to any medieval vampire story at all. There is in fact two vocalists, but a lot like the bassist it is difficult to tell when they become essential to the operation. My theory is “Fetish for the Finite” inspired the entire album, as it seems to be the “Fat Lip” of FVK’s current discography. Not an awful track musically, but the lyrics are difficult to stomach. The lyrics aren’t even worth mentioning; after I said it was a “concept record based off of vampires” I hoped that lyrics were already discarded as a topic.
Most songs attempt an anthemic sound. This fails because even with the stylistic vocals, they lack the ability to hit power house notes or deliver strong hooks like formally compared acts singers “Gerard Way” or “Brendon Urie”, this leaves most of the album feeling very limp. The last three tracks are a true burn out, with things coming to a dead stop at “Mascara Tears and Vanilla Spice”. Cheesy piano ballad, but surprisingly not too bad for what it is. As a concept record this fails horribly but some tracks have a couple notable moments. “Palace in Flames” does change up the verse, chorus structure a little. “At War with the Thirst” does its best at throwing in a solo. I’m sure that this whole record would of benefited greatly as an EP, tying all the half baked ideas into one appetizing desert. Unfortunately reaching for the stars with one pretentious as hell concept record, gives you just what the crappy cover art covets.
Recommended Tracks: Conced.Repent.Destroy, Fetish For The Finite, Bow Ties on Dead Guys, Anything by MCR or P!ATD.
